Tag Archives: tom cruise

‘Oblivion’ is a two hour long head scratcher

oblivion-banner“Oblivion” writer and director Joseph Kosinski wants you to walk about of his new movie questioning what you’ve seen. You should know that going in because you’re going to walk out of the theatre with plenty of head scratching questions after this beautiful albeit mind numbing journey into our future.

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Tom Cruise tries his best but ‘Jack Reacher’ is barely average — movie review

jackreacherBased on the crime novel “One Shot” by British author, Lee Childs, “Jack Reacher” begins with a lone gunman picking off innocent civillians — a scene that may hit close to home for some. Pittsburgh police are on the scene quickly and a quick investigation points to former military sniper, James Barr (Joseph Sikora). Barr is quickly detained but instead of confessing to the five murders, he asks only for Jack Reacher (Cruise), a former military cop who isn’t so much into asking a lot of pointless questions as he is in just bring bad guys to brutal and painful justice.

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100 Movies I’ve Never Seen Before in 90 Days: #21-30

Okay, so this is about where I left off.  I’ve linked to my full reviews.  Following #24 though, I don’t have full reviews up yet.  When I do, I will link.  If there are any that you want to see ASAP, hit me up with a comment and I will see what I can do.

21. Legion- 2010: I really don’t know what else to say about this ridiculous movie except it is really stupid and pointless and yet another movie where you have to wonder what Dennis Quaid is thinking.  It’s about a renegade angel fighting other angels because some want to kill a baby and some don’t but God told them too— or some shit like that.  It’s stupid, that’s all you need to know. 2/10

22. The Soloist- 2009: You know those movies where you can just tell they are trying to push the movie into Oscar territory?  This movie reeks of that shit.  Take Robert Downey Jr. add Jamie Foxx, playing a schizophrenic musician and let the drama unfold.  This is an okay movie.  Not Oscar worthy but worth watching if you’re a fan of either actor. 6/10

23. The Lovely Bones- 2009: I was sooo disappointed in this.  I haven’t read the book but even as that may be, it just feels like there is a lot cut out.  There are some beautiful moments and it gets very Lost-ish in The End– or did Lost get a little Lovely Bones-ish– I digress.  I love Peter Jackson, and really hoped he’d hit me in the gut with this flick.  But he didn’t. 6/10

24. Toy Story 3- 2010: Thank God this is the final one because I don’t need anymore fucking reminders that my childhood is over and I’m never getting it back.  This movie is great.  I don’t know if I’d say the best.  I still love the first and the marijuana leaf wall paper– wait, you say it’s bamboo?  Yeah, okay.  This one has Michael Keaton in it.  8/10

The poster for Ninja Assassin. Batman is a ninja. He's not in this movie.

25. Valkyrie: American actors playing German soldiers and politicians during WWII, speaking English with full American accents and not one trace of German accent.  Other than that it’s a pretty good movie, based on a true story of the men who tried to take down Hitler.  But the American accents bothered me, mostly because I know Bryan Singer knows better. 7/10

26. Ninja Assassin: YES.  I loved this shit.  Totally bad ass ninjas doing some totally bad ass ninja shit.  Arms chopped off… Heads lopped off… Legs hacked off… Dudes getting cut in half.  Fucking awesome shit.  Violent as hell.  Oh yeah, there is something about revenge- but isn’t there always a little revenge when you get mixed up in ninja shit? 8/10

27. Law-Obiding Citizen: Am I the only one that thinks Gerard Butler is a total douche bag?  Is anyone buying this guys bull shit?  What the hell was this movie?  Dude get imprisoned for a crime he didn’t commit so to teach everyone a lesson he actually kills more people?  You can’t see me, but I’m shaking my head right now…. Another one with Jamie Foxx.  He should have passed on this one and unless you have a hard on for Gerard Butler, you should too. 4/10

Gillian Anderson, not Dana Scully, was in one of these flicks. I just had to put a picture of her up.

28. How to Lose Friends and Alienate People: Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead, Run Fatboy Run) is usually pretty solid and while this movie has its moments of humor, it really just kinda spins its wheels and after a while it gets kind of annoying.  But that’s kind of the way it is with a lot of British comedies.  This has a weird cast from Jeff Bridges, to my alternate universe wife, Gillian Anderson.  But it also has Megan Fox in it and we all know how good of an actor she is compared to CGi alien robots.  Here she just kinda looks hot and that’s about it. 7/10

29. Knight and Day- 2010: First of all, stop letting Top Cruise have creative control.  The title of this movie has nothing to do with anything at all in the movie.  It was supposed to be called Wichita and it should have stayed that way.  Maybe it’s cuz I’m from Kansas, but either way there is so much going on that is pointless here.  Which is too bad because there is a lot of entertaining stuff, too.  Tom Cruise is old school Tom Cruise here and it works. 7/10

30. The Hannah Montana movie: Okay, here is my WTF movie for this part of my list.  Obviously I let my daughter pick this one.  I don’t mean to be a dick but has anyone else noticed that Miley Cyrus talks like a donkey that got kicked in the head?  Holy crap, man.  Parents actually let their kids watch this crap??  I mean besides me, because the movie was an isolated incident.  Zoe and I watched this together.  It’s stupid.  Hannah Montana is stupid and so is her stupid dad.  You suck, Billy Ray.  Zoe also rated this movie herself. 5/10

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