Who’s in it?: Samuel L. Jackson (Pulp Fiction, Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith), Patrick Wilson (Watchmen, The A-Team-2010)
Samuel Fucking Jackson. Look mother fucker, we gotta talk buddy. I’m just gonna lay it out there buddy– flat out did not like this fucking movie at all. I will be honest, I really didn’t think I would like it going in so it was all uphill fucking battle from there–or is it down hill?
SLJ plays Abel. Abel is a cop in the toughest streets in L.A. but he raises his kids in the nice, respectable neighborhood of Lakeview Terrace. Then his new neighbors move in and they’re…gasp…an interracial couple. Oh no!! Not in Samuel Jackson’s mother fucking neighborhood. So brother goes off and starts acting crazy and starting shit with the new neighbors. Tension rises, tempers flare and a lot of corny, stupid, cliche shit gets thrown all over the screen, but the point is, as the point ALWAYS is: You Don’t. Fuck. With. Samuel L. Jackson. Ever.
Even so, this is boring. Sam gets all wide eyed and acts intense and the Owl guy from Watchmen just puts up cuz he has to deal with his wife’s un-approving father, who thinks his daughter could do better. Eventually the shit hits the fan, but by then you won’t care.
Now, back to you, Sammy. I love you brother but this shit is getting out of control. After that one movie that came out this year..oh yeah, The Spirit; you need to start reading scripts, dude, seriously. I know the idea of playing a bad guy was tempting but this was not the move. If you wanna play a bad guy, get fucking Tarantino off whatever wacky fucking drugs he’s on and tell him to write something good. Actually, you should tell him to get off that shit no matter what, because the last couple outings for that dude have been pretty long fucking winded.
This movie builds up a lot of tension and tries to really stir the racial issue but it’s un-interesting, over-written and a real waste of time. Boo.
3/10
Would I recommend this movie?: I can not.
Based on real life events — yeah, it’s one of those — The Conjuring tells two stories. One is the story of the typical family, the Perron Family, who move into a new house to start a new life, etc. The other story is that of Ed and Lorraine Warren, the real life paranormal investigators who witnessed a demonic possession in the Perron’s house.