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‘Toy Story 3’ (2010) — movie review

Who’s in it?: voices of Tom Hanks (Big, Turner and Hooch), Tim Allen (TV’s Home Improvement, Galaxy Quest), Michael Keaton (Batman, Mr. Mom)

Bravo, Pixar.  If you’ve seen the first two movies and enjoyed them, then you’ll love this one.  The fact is all, or at least most Pixar movies are amazing.  Not only because of the animation, but the story telling is top notch; Bug’s Life, The Incredibles, Wall*E, Up.  Maybe not Cars.  I still don’t get that one.  Talking cars that race in front of an audience of other talking cars?  What the —-?  It’s a little perverse isn’t it?  So, except for Cars, which was stupid, the rest of the movies have been pretty damn good.  Mainly because they are more aimed at adults than the animation would leave you to believe.  Well guess what?  This one will kick adults right in the nuts.  Without mercy.  Kids won’t get the real impact of this movie for 20-25 years.

I will get into that here in a few, but this movie pissed me off because it was so good and it just showed how much movies have God damn sucked this year.  When Toy Story 3 is one of the best movies that comes out over the summer, for me a 30 something year-old man, there is a real problem.

Back to Woody and Buzz. Like I said, this movie is going to kick most adults right in the sack.  I don’t care if you have a sack or not, you’re gonna cry during this movie.  Try not to.  I dare you.  Look we’ve all had to grow up, right?…and it sucks.  You know it and I know it.  And we all know the best time of our lives was our childhood.  We all wish we could go back to the days when our biggest problem was not having enough time in the day to play with all of our toys fairly and equally.  And if you have kids now, you see that again in them.  You want them to enjoy their childhood and try and tune out all of the violence and evil in this God damned world and just play with their Star Wars guys.

But you can’t.  And this movie is going to remind you of that time in your life.  Then you will look at your children.  They will look back at you and smile and then they will make fun of you for crying at the end of Toy Story 3 because they will think you’re an idiot.  Then someday when they have kids, show them that flick again.  Niagara Falls, baby.  Payback is a bitch.

8/10

Would I recommend this?: If you can’t enjoy Toy Story, I can’t help you.