Growing up, I loved the Lone Ranger. I just thought it was cool for a cowboy to wear a mask and run around with an Indian seeking justice. I’ve always loved westerns, it’s really too bad they have dropped off the popularity chart. So, I was pretty pumped when I found out they were doing this new big screen adaption of “The Lone Ranger”.
And then they cast Johnny Depp — as Tonto. And then they cast Armie Hammer (no, not the box of baking soda) as John Reid aka the Lone Ranger. Oh boy. Continue reading Disney swings and misses with overly long ‘Lone Ranger’
Who says movies are played out by the time part four in a series rolls around? While this may be true for some movies– Indiana Jones maybe?– I can point to James Bond and Harry Potter as movie characters that have endured well beyond the trilogy curse. Despite what most critics would have you believe, I think its safe to put Jack Sparrow on that list as well. Oh excuse me– Captain. Captain Jack Sparrow. Savy?
Continue reading ‘Pirates of the Caribbean on Stranger Tides’ has less magic but less fun, too — movie review
So I figured if I’m gonna write the good, I’ve gotta write the bad. By doing this, I realized two different things. One, I didn’t see shit for movies last year and I still saw a lot of crappy fucking movies; and Two….I guess that’s it, I saw a lot of crappy movies. When I did my epic 100 Movies I’ve Never Seen Before list over the summer, I saw only a handful of new releases, and yes some may be included on this list…
Without further delay–
Tim’s “Worst-Of” Two Thousand and Ten, in no particular order:
- Legion: Piece of shit. Won’t waste anymore time on it. (my Legion review)
- A Nightmare on Elm Street: One two, Freddy’s coming for you, but don’t worry because he talks like a fucking retard and they spend most of the movie hinting maybe he’s not the bad guy we thought he was. Zzzzzzzzzz…oh no, I fell asleep. Boring. But don’t worry, there is absolutely NOTHING to be afraid of in this movie.
- Dinner for Schmucks: Not fucking funny. AT ALL. I will have my full review up later but let’s just say sometimes having Steve Carrel and Zack Galifianakas acting stupid is sometimes just fucking stupid. Exhibit A.
- Cop Out: Oh, my God. I get to punch Bruce Willis right in the fucking face for this one and don’t even get me started on Tracey fucking Morgan. Worst. Kevin Smith movie. Ever. and that’s really saying something.
- Alice in Wonderland: Terrible 3-D. Terrible FX. What the hell was up the that dance Johnny Depp does at the end? Sometimes Tim Burton is just too much and maybe it was too obvious a choice for him to take on Wonderland. Really liked it the first time I saw it but it gets worse every time I see it.
- The Losers: Zoe Saldana is HOT but this movie SUCKS.
- Killers: I didn’t even fucking see this movie, but it has Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl in it, so I’m just gonna call this one crap.
That’s all folks, I’m sure there were some other suckers but let’s not dwell on the past. Instead we should look forward to what sucks about 2011. Have you seen the Green Lantern trailer? I can’t get a feeling on that one yet.
Happy New Year!! – t.b. english